we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think a kid would responsible me up
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
