pop tarts are not kleenex
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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