Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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