yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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