he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
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I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
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