You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
