I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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