So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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