Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
