You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize