Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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