If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
