$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
