I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
