You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
