the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
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i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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