I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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