Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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