They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
