she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
