I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?