Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
