The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
