He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
