Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
