i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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