guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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