my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
