I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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