Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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