She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
