dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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