he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I love you. Go after that dick
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
