At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
