I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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