Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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