i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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