its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
