I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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