why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize