how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
