It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
