I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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