Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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