and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
