The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
