What a fucking waste of an outfit
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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