I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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