for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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