I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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