I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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