im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize