I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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