your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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