I wanna bring you to show and tell
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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