I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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