I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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