A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
