I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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