I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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