Pappa wants mamma naked
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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