It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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